Scars. . .

The e-mail I got from Sharon Jaynes, today, got me seriously thinking. Another woman got me seriously thinking as well–Marilyn Williams, she had been featured on today’s “Focus on the Family” broadcast on Family Life Radio.
The scars I have gotten through the years, the obvious ones: the one on my right index finger, towards the rest of my hand where a glass tumbler shattered in my hand as I was washing it; the one down the middle of chest reminding me of the open-heart surgery I had, 26 years ago, this past March, to repair a birth defect. Then, those hidden ones, not physical scars, the emotional/ mental scars, that hurt to this day. Marilyn brought some of those up for me, with part 1 of her testimony. She endured many decades of incest, sexual abuse from many male family members. I had endured much less, but nevertheless, damaging abuse from, first a neighborhood boy, and later, a male cousin. A huge portion of my childhood I simply don’t remember; that, maybe from other abuse–I don’t know.

Here is the address of the Sharon’s e-mail (I’m so sorry, the ‘link’ doesn’t seem to function!!)

For “Focus on the Family”–

My Third Day Out

of my bed!! Wow, I don’t remember ever being so incredibly ‘wiped out’ than now. After 4 weeks of bed confinement, I was shocked as to how much the simplest things can [do] exhaust me!!  Just traveling from my room to elevator, from the elevator to the dining room, three times a day–that is all I’ve done, since Friday! UGH!

I do hope & pray I “bounce back”, very soon!

I still haven’t had any enthusiasm for my story-writing! What I believe I’ll do, next week, is start with writing essays (have them here?) & short stories. I’ll see how I feel after that, I think(?).

Well, here it is Friday. . .

and as of 10:37am, today, I have been back “on my wheels”!! I have my wheel-chair back under me! Everyone was so pleased to see me–1 guy thought I was in the hospital all these 4 weeks! Even the executive director was glad to see me!!

On other ‘stuff’– I got info about a ” Writers Workshop ” that’s going to happen in mid-November. I can attend–it’s in a location I can get to. My problem (as always!!) is cost. Also, I’d have to really hustle my tushie with my story! So, I’m deeply unsure about this. I have been in prayer about this. More, later. . .


Well, I’m still stuck in

bed, expecting to get the problematic back-rest ‘swapped-out” on Sept.12th!! Yep, 20 days from today!! UGH!!! I did speak with the guy who will doing this; silly goose I am, I forgot to ask when he could get this done. I do plan on calling him, Monday.
I received more ‘get well’ cards from my church family–those so cheered me up!! One of my pals had circulated a ‘get well’ card around our dining room, here in our assisted-living facility– there are 33 signatures in that card!! THAT so touched me!!
That’s the latest!!

About being depressed. . .

This past Tuesday, it had been announced of Robin Williams’ death. I had been listening to “Intentional Living” with Dr. Randy Carlson, on Family Life Radio. He had postponed the scheduled topic to discuss what information he & others could share about depression. He had a staff member, Ron Carter who currently is depressed. A great many who are dealing with, suffering from this debilitating mental illness describe it as ‘dark and deep’. The following is meant as NO level of disrespect to those of us who are dealing with this!! The thought I had flashed on was this– “shallow, and 18% grey”! Wow, I smiled hugely [as I am now] at this!! This is how I can describe my level of depression!! The “18% grey” is a term used in film still photography. From Wikipedia –“A gray card is a middle gray reference, typically used together with a reflective light meter, as a way to produce consistent image exposure and/or color in film andphotography.”

My very last time ’round in community college, had been the process of earning a degree in fine arts, focusing (yeah, pun intended!!) on photography.

My point, I suppose, in all of this post, is that though Mr. Williams’ death is truly a tragedy, to his family, his friends, and the world; he being an incredible actor/ comic, I like to think he, too, may have gotten a smile from my “shallow & 18% grey”!! :-D 

Again, I want to be totally clear on this: I mean no disrespect to anyone who going through the ordeal of depression!  This is only a ” tee-hee” on yours truly!!


Plus,today would have been my dear sweet mama’s 92nd birthday!! She went to go to be with the Lord in ’86. She’s now Rejoicing In Paradise!! HALLUJAH!!!